Me & Barbie Can't Be Cool...

Growing up I went through a loooong phase of playing with dolls. I had everything from Cabbage Patch Dolls, My Child Dolls, and raggedy looking dolls with no names. But the dolls I played with the most were BARBIE DOLLS! I took playing with Barbie to the extreme. I had TWO Barbie Mansions, Barbie convertibles, and a Barbie camping RV that transformed into a truck. Not to mention the Barbie ice cream shop that had the ability to make real ice cream and finally the Barbie flower shop. My Barbie's had plenty of clothes and accessories but the one thing I never had was a Ken doll. I thought he was a punk so my Barbie was hooked up with my MC Hammer doll. He was hotter than Ken at the time & had the number one song and album… Can't Touch This … DaaaNaaaNa Na NaNA … Can't Touch This … Anyways I digress...

So that whole intro should give you a pretty good understanding of my attachment to dolls and my world of Barbie. But now that I am older and moved on from Barbie I look back on my friendship with Barbie a lil' differently.

Now most of my Barbie's were black but I had an aunt to give my sister and I a white Barbie to share. Let's call her Kelly. My Aunts first mistake was thinking we could actually share a doll (we had TWO of everything growing up, yes were fortunate lil brats) & her second mistake was buying a white doll (don't judge just yet… keep reading). So my sister and I referred to our new white Barbie as "light skinned" since there weren't two "light skinned" dolls we fought over Kelly. So you know what happens next … my dad took the doll away. But my Dad just couldn't take it away without giving a speech about the white doll. Everything my Dad did came with a speech! I can't remember the entire speech but I remember the gist of it went something like … "Why do ya'll think you have to play with this doll so bad? You have plenty of other dolls to play with that look like you, play with those dolls!" Then Kelly was gone…

Hmmm what a statement, "Play with the dolls that look like you" Looks like me??? HUH? I question the statement because I remember having a Barbie that was supposed to be "African Barbie". She came wearing an African patterned outfit and even matching head wrap and her name on the box was Kenya. Now if this is the doll that looks like me … why does she have brownish-greenish eyes? Why is her hair just a straight as the white dolls hair? Why is her nose and lips all skinny and thin? This doll doesn't look like me? It looks like the white doll dipped in chocolate! The ONLY difference was the makers gave Kenya all lil extra plastic in her hips & butt. So, is the doll that looks like me?

Growing up I have ALWAYS loved track & field. So naturally I had a Flo-Jo Doll. She came with the signature Flo-Jo outfit but that was the ONLY similarity she had of Flo-Jo. This doll had the BIGGEST hooters. There is no way in hell Flo-Jo could have been an Olympic Gold Medalist with hooters that big! But I am to play with the doll that looks like me? The same premise is noticeable with a lot of my other dolls, so Daddy they don't look like me.

Lets tie this childhood memory back to history. Remember the study done by Kenneth Clark in the 1940's. The study was used in the historic Supreme Court case of Brown vs. The Board of Education to challenge segregated schools. The children in the study were asked "Which doll would you play with? or Which doll do you think is bad?" The children answered according to what they were taught & they answered with the image that had of themselves. They wanted to play with the white doll & they considered the black doll to be bad. So was the answer to the problem to make black dolls as close to white dolls as possible and just make their skin darker? We internalize our values unconsciously at very young ages & at 5 years of age children can see what society favors. Is this the impression we want to bestow upon our youth? I guess so. The study was done again in 2006 with the exact same results.


I need to tell you what spawned the idea to write all of this. I decided to let my hair be as God made it and wear it in its natural state. The whole process took about 10 months and literally it had a liberating feeling. No longer am I bound by perms & chemicals that did more damage than good. But here is the kicker… I had a homeboy ask me "Why did you do that? Is that the new fad for black chicks now? I will be glad when it's over; it's not a good look". So in return I asked him, basically I have to alter the way God made me in order have a "Good look". I guess he, like a lot of other brothas would have picked the white doll too.


If you would like to see the 2006 study, check out the link below…
www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/a_girl_like_me/
With all the changes we see around us the things that need to change most … somehow have remained the same.
I could say more but I am done...Let me know what YOU think!

You asked ... I Answer...

Today as I was driving home I thought about one particular question. When I am asked this general question I usually give a generic little answer and go on about my way. BUT today is different. Today and TODAY only I am going to expand & take my answer to the next level. Soooo take notes or remember the web address to this blog and refer back to it as needed.

Now the Question….

"So … Tell me about yourself?"

You thought the question would be something like … Who am I voting for Hilary or Obama? Or something serious like… what are my thought on the Aids epidemic in Africa? NOPE … This question, I get from people (mainly men) who saw my picture on myspace & think they may want to test the waters and see what kinda chick I am. I guarantee for those who have inquired have left only with thought… that is was NOT what I expected.


So here it is …. The Makings of Me …

I am a woman that is a long way from perfect, BUT so close to the true meaning of what it means to be a work in progress really. Some days I am delayed & prevented from moving the direction I am strive to go, though a delay does not stop my movement.

Simple said… I ain’t done yet; the best is yet to come

I am a woman that loves intensely. When you have a heart that functions, love is what it produces. Your heart LOVES to Love! That is not just a figure of speech, it what it really does. Technically a heart is NOT meant to THINK it just loves. It will love whatever you put in its presents. If you expose your heart to drugs it will love drugs, if you expose your heart to drama, you will love drama. This explains why a woman can still love a man that beats the shit out of her. She is crazy …but her heart is doing its job of loving the man that beats her. So knowing that I behold a heart that is fully functional in its ability love, I wrap my self in Proverbs 4:23 …
Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life …
I don’t want to get caught up in loving the wrongs things OR the wrong PEOPLE. So it may take a minute before you are introduced to the wellspring of love that overflows within me.

Simply said… I am EXTREMLY Guarded

I am a woman that will greet you with my mind. My words reflect the thoughts that have traveled through the waves of my brain. Nothing gets left out. Many women say things to hint at what they mean & expect for you to luck up on figuring out the rest of they mean. Not this chick … I don’t like guessing games because of the damages that guessing wrong can cause. So I will leave you with no assumptions of me. My opinions are not kept a secret. I will share the funny, the silly, and the harsh unsympathetic views that keep things realistic. I have long since moved away from the land of fairy tales and I have no desire to return.

Simply said… I kept it plain & real ALL the time


I am woman that likes nice things but FAR from materialistic. Matthew 6:24 …

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money

Having a house in Lake Ridge is nice but I will not allow having a home Lake Ridge control me. I can settle for a lovely home kinda by Lake Ridge if needed. I make my house a home not the subdivision called Lake Ridge.

Simply said … I like shopping at Nordstrom’s but T.J. Max will do

I am woman who loves GOD. I love to be in Gods House. I love to be among Gods people. I love to experience His presence, I love working towards His greater good.
I LOVE the ministry I am involved in. I am active in my youth ministry at church. It makes me overflow with joy when the hardest thug runs to me for simple hug because they don’t get hugs anywhere else. When they learn because I am teaching is just awe-inspiring to keep going EVEN though some of them are bad as hell! They are the reason I call myself to higher standard in life because I don’t want to be the cause of leading them astray.

Simply said I am Christian.

I am a woman who desires to be in a relationship & one day married. I was not given the gift that Paul speaks of in Corinthians to remain single … I feel loneliness BUT I will not allow that one emotion to lead me to make rushed and make reckless decisions regarding dating & relationships. Furthermore hearing my biological clock tick away will not reduce me to settling for “testing driving” different relationships until I find one that seems like it could right. Test driving is meant for cars NOT people.

Simply said…Trying out as many romantic options as possible to make sure you land on the right one doesn’t make you more ready or more sure; it makes you more used up.


Ok this is getting long …

Simply said …The Makings of Me are NUMEROUS … But overall I am comfortable in my brown skin, I love my natural hair, I am thankful for my blessings I AM intricately designed as just ME! Like it … Love it … OR LEAVE ME ALONE!

Top Ten Things That Really Bother Me...
10. Trips to Wal-Mart... Since Wal-Mart literally has everything from pampers to prescriptions ... why don't they just go ahead and turn half of the toy section into a Day Care... This way I can shop without....
* Lil Hakim & Rashid nem' having shopping cart races
* Parents letting Ray-Ray push the cart when he is NOT even tall enough to see where in the HELL he is going.
* Lil Maria & Jose playing catch with the oranges
* Having to hear ... “If you don't sit yo @ss down in this basket” TEN times. Then have to hear the screams of child who has fallen out of the basket
Wal-Mart needs a Day Care!!!

9. Isn't it against the law to have a NON injury car accident & not pull off to the side of the road??? I think so!!! At least 3 days out of the week my already long commute is made even longer by idiots who choose to exchange their insurance information right smack in the middle of I-35 at 7:30 in the morning when there is barely a freakin' scratch on the dang car! Why make everyone else late to work because your dumb self was tailgating the car in front of you and you weren’t payin’ attention???

8. Celebrities who get married. ... Is the max time a Celebrity can stay married FIVE YEARS?!?!?! Is Six years too big of a commitment? The Sanctity of Marriage is already tainted enough, celebrities make it WORSE! Celebrities should only be allowed to have boyfriends and girlfriends and refer to them like this… “Oh meet Vanessa this is my PLAY WIFE" & "Oh meet my Kobe... this is my PLAY HUSBAND" If the break up … who in the heck cares there is no multimillion dollar divorce settlement to talk about.

7. Kids who curse like there is no tomorrow in front of adults. What is the point? Yeah I ain't ya mama but I still deserve respect ... STUPID KID you are just displaying how LIMITED your vocabulary is!

6. In the past year I have purchased TWO Dell Computers. WHY in the H#LL are they BOTH SLOW as ____!!! (I soooo wanna curse like the kids in # 7 but I won't)... So I’ll say both of the stupid computers are slower than the kids in number seven trying to a read a book & the stupid things freeze more than Lake Michigan!

5. Windows VISTA??? I mean really … Bill Gates were you really in such a crunch for money you just had to put that mess out in the stores before you worked out all of the kinks??? Why are all of the error messages written in a language so only a programmer will understand what the heck its saying???

4. T-Pain… OOOOO he REALLY gets me…. He sings into a microphone that changes his voice and he sing stupid hooks & he make money for the mess. Where is the talent? Rappers in general are REALLY disappointing. The Radio is REALLY REALLY disappointing with how often they play the mess without even rotating in ONE song that ain’t about some ass shaking. Since my commute is already long & made even longer by the idiots in # 9 I just turn the radio off in the car and listen to my own thoughts. Yes I do have CD changer but the CD burner on the Dell PC with all my music on it # 6 doesn’t quite burn CD’s anymore!

3. The people on my job. How in the world did I end up in a place that is the epitome of corporate America’s dark side? I am really bothered that I have stayed there so dang long.

2. Relationship Issues … (I just vent on this one) When did guys really begin to equate getting ass with man hood? When did the college playa cards get extended to 40 YEARS OLD!?! Ladies are now satisfied with sharing a male (can’t really call him a man) just as long as she gets to live the house they cohabitate together in? I really am tired of people being dishonest when I try my hardest to be sincere in everything. I realize I am work in progress on a few things but the key word is WORK! I am workin’ on things and not just content with some bull! I am really bothered by the fact that I let a fool make me never want hear another love song!! I am so bothered by the fact that the single life is so complicated & yet folks who are married are still creeping, steady in search for more of who knows. I never learned how BIG trust really was until someone betrayed it & having to fight so hard to trust again is a lot harder than I imagined. How can I love freely when I have to guard my heart & not let folks get too close? Ok let me stop I will never get to number one from talking about this…

OK HERE IT IS THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT URKS ME MOST!!!!!
1. WHY IN THE HECK ARE THE CASES OF WATER AT WALMART ALWAYS SO HARD FOR ME TO GET IN THE DANG BASKET? THE TIME THAT I WISH I HAD A SPECIAL LIL FRIEND IS WHEN I HAVE TO PICK UP THE DANG CASE OF WATER AT WALMART MYSELF… I WOULD LOVE TO JUST SAY “SWEETIE CAN YOU GET THAT FOR ME??””” SHEESH
YEP THERE IS A TIE...

1. SINCE I AM LISTENING TO MAXWELL RIGHT NOW I AM SOOOO URKED BY THE FACT THAT MAXWELL HASN'T HAD AN ALBUM SINCE "NOW" in 2001 & HE IS RUMORED TO HAVE SWITCHED TEAMS AND SINGS TO FELLAS NOW TOO! D@MN!!

YEP More Number ONE!!!

1.FLAVA FLAV & THE FLAVA STRIPPER HOES URK THE HELL OUTTA ME!!!